Cleaning Out My Closet

Figuratively, that is.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm tired (figuratively and literally) of dealing with negative, disrespectful people who don't really add anything positive to my life. You know those people... they're the ones that after you get done talking to them in person or on the phone, you feel absolutely exhausted and sometimes even physically sick.

Well, guess what... I have decided that in most cases, I no longer HAVE to! (With the exception of family (cause well, it's family) and anyone I may be "related to" by childbirth. And no, I'm not speaking of my children here.)

Now I know that I can be this way at times... I understand it, I don't deny it, I will admit it and I'm working to change it. That is the difference between me and those who cannot see how negative behavior effects other people, how it hurts other people and how it makes themselves look insecure. You know, that whole I feel bad about myself so I'll put you down every chance I get so I feel better and you'll feel bad about yourself like I do, thing.

Or maybe they're just horrible people and don't care.

Either way, I'm over it. I don't want to waste time in my life with negative people and I don't want to waste time in my life being negative. And I sure don't want to teach my children to be negative.

Now this doesn't mean that people can't have a bad day, that is to be expected in life. And there's always going to be stressful situations thrown our way. But how does having a bad day or going through a stressful time give anyone the right to try to bring others down? If you're having a bad day or going through a hard time, fine... feel free to share that with me, I'd love to help if I can. But when the tables get turned and you're starting to put me down, well, that's when it's going to end for me.

Example: If a friend is going through issues with her child/children and she feels insecure about her own mothering abilities, she will share those insecurities and issues she's having, but will make sure to slam the way you parent and tell you what you're doing is all wrong, too. Then the conversation goes from, "I'm having a hard time with this" to "Well, I don't feel too bad about myself because you have be doing it all wrong for the last 16 years, and your children won't amount to anything, and you should be ashamed of the way you parent your children, and you're probably going to hell for co-sleeping and homeschooling anyway, so I guess I'm not that bad of a parent after all."

Just sayin'.

Anyway, like I said, I'm done. I think when friendships get to the point where you dread talking to that person, where you start to question that person's loyalty to you and where you realize "Hey, they treat me like total crap"... Well, unfortunately you have a decision to make.

Got Roast

Baby T was up earlier than normal today, but maybe that's because he went to bed a little earlier than normal. Our nightly routine is that I go to bed when he goes to bed, or vice versa. He nurses, then I just lay him down beside me (the whole co-sleeping thing) and I lay down, but last night was a rough night for me and I just needed some "me time". Now normally I roll my eyes at that phrase ("me time") because I feel like it's a cop out, but last night the baby was tired and I was not. I was hungry and I wanted to watch the season finale of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. So, I nursed him, put him in his crib and went downstairs and made some sinful and disgusting food to go with my sinful and disgusting show and sat my butt down and watched it. Twice actually, because Bravo played it over... and over... and over... I think I finally headed back upstairs around 1:00 feeling a little guilty that Baby T was in his crib and more guilty about watching grown women call each other "clowns" and "garbage" when clearly they are "tramps" and "trailer trash" in nice houses, possibly in foreclosure. But not to worry... this kid has instincts! As soon as I crawled into my bed, he popped up in his. I got him out, put him on my lap, nursed him and he fell right back to sleep in bed with mama. And I was happy.

So now we've had breakfast and I've got an English Roast in the slow cooker. Today I made up my own recipe... I added salt and pepper, onion flakes and then covered it with beef gravy. I normally use cream of mushroom soup, but I felt like trying something different. We'll have that with a salad, mashed potatoes, carrots and crescent rolls. I'm feeling all homemakery.

Later today I will be making new lace and crinoline outfits for the boys and leopard print outfits for my dogs. Cause that's the Danielle way.

Here's a recap if your interested:

Caroline: You know what you are? You're a clown.
Danielle: I'm a clown. Really?
Caroline: Your whole life is a joke.
Danielle: You're saying this, sitting there with red hair? I'm the clown?
Caroline: Yes, you are.
Danielle: Really?
Caroline: Yeah. No matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, no matter who you talk to, okay, you will not hurt me. Do you know why? I have integrity, okay, and I sit here and I tell you the truth, okay? And when I called you garbage, I meant you were garbage."

So worth losing those extra hours of sleep.

Writer's Block or Adult ADD

Ever since I got my new laptop I have been wanting to blog every day but just can't. Sure, I could physically type a post out, but can I mentally do so? I think that is the problem. I have so many thoughts running through my head, so many posts that I want to write, so many different ideas, views and topics that I want to cover, but I just can't. It's like I can't get my thoughts together enough to write a post that's not all over the board. I'm chalking it up to the fact that I got away from blogging for a long time and I'm a little rusty. Plus, the fact that I already said I'd like to do something serious with my blog puts a little pressure on me to actually DO something with this blog. I guess I should just start blogging for fun and see where it leads me. I just have so many things going on that I really do have many topics to last for a very long time. For now, I think I'm going to reconnect with some other blogging women and get that re-established, then look into options for my blog. Just thinking about it has my head spinning. But in a good way.

Last Week

-My family was in town. The WHOLE week. Whoohoo. It was awesome.


-We did not go to the State Fair as planned due to the high temps and even higher humidity. (Didn't think it would be wise to drag Baby T out in that and we weren't really up for it either.)


-We had lots of good food and I didn't gain any weight. Whoohoo.


-My therapist let me go. He "said" there was just nothing more I needed from him and that I did what I went in to get help for and that he believes I'm strong and ok and blah blah freakin blah... I'll save the rest for another post, but for now I'll say he might just get a letter from me someday soon letting him know I believed every word of what he said to me.


-Mr. R and I took Baby T to a carnival and we actually had a very good time. (My therapist would have had a hayday with this one, but now he will never know. Because I'm all better now. And if the words "Mr. R and I... had a very good time." don't tell you how very wrong my therapist is, I don't know what will.)

-We were getting ready to leave my parents' and had the car packed, it running with the a/c on and both the dogs in. Next thing we know, the Yorkie jumped up to look out and locked the doors. Thank goodness for AAA.

-I just realized how uneventful last week really was.


-I just realized uneventful could very possibly mean it was still a really great week.