August 26, 2010

Cleaning Out My Closet

Figuratively, that is.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm tired (figuratively and literally) of dealing with negative, disrespectful people who don't really add anything positive to my life. You know those people... they're the ones that after you get done talking to them in person or on the phone, you feel absolutely exhausted and sometimes even physically sick.

Well, guess what... I have decided that in most cases, I no longer HAVE to! (With the exception of family (cause well, it's family) and anyone I may be "related to" by childbirth. And no, I'm not speaking of my children here.)

Now I know that I can be this way at times... I understand it, I don't deny it, I will admit it and I'm working to change it. That is the difference between me and those who cannot see how negative behavior effects other people, how it hurts other people and how it makes themselves look insecure. You know, that whole I feel bad about myself so I'll put you down every chance I get so I feel better and you'll feel bad about yourself like I do, thing.

Or maybe they're just horrible people and don't care.

Either way, I'm over it. I don't want to waste time in my life with negative people and I don't want to waste time in my life being negative. And I sure don't want to teach my children to be negative.

Now this doesn't mean that people can't have a bad day, that is to be expected in life. And there's always going to be stressful situations thrown our way. But how does having a bad day or going through a stressful time give anyone the right to try to bring others down? If you're having a bad day or going through a hard time, fine... feel free to share that with me, I'd love to help if I can. But when the tables get turned and you're starting to put me down, well, that's when it's going to end for me.

Example: If a friend is going through issues with her child/children and she feels insecure about her own mothering abilities, she will share those insecurities and issues she's having, but will make sure to slam the way you parent and tell you what you're doing is all wrong, too. Then the conversation goes from, "I'm having a hard time with this" to "Well, I don't feel too bad about myself because you have be doing it all wrong for the last 16 years, and your children won't amount to anything, and you should be ashamed of the way you parent your children, and you're probably going to hell for co-sleeping and homeschooling anyway, so I guess I'm not that bad of a parent after all."

Just sayin'.

Anyway, like I said, I'm done. I think when friendships get to the point where you dread talking to that person, where you start to question that person's loyalty to you and where you realize "Hey, they treat me like total crap"... Well, unfortunately you have a decision to make.