January 18, 2006

Sick and Tired, but not really sick or tired....

Do you ever get sick and tired of always feeling sick and tired?!? I don't feel tired so much, as I always feel sick. Granted, I don't exercise (at least not by most standards...although I consider running around after 5 kiddos age 18mos-4yrs all day quite a workout), I don't eat well...I cave when we drive by fast food and I think about how much easier it will be to just drive thru, than go home and cook, and as far as getting enough sleep, well I'm at about 6.5 -7 hrs per night, so not that bad. But, I can tell you that I'm not at all ready to get out of bed in the morning. Although I think a lot of that is just plain winter depression. Who wouldn't want to stay in bed under warm blankets when is 10 degress out and feels like it's about 50 in your house. Not fun to think about getting out of those warm blanket only to get undressed and get in the shower, only to have to get back out all wet and cold. That's not my idea of an exciting way to wake up and start my day.

And let me tell you this..."mind over matter" can kiss my cold wet butt!! I woke up this morning and I knew that I had to get up earlier and get downstairs earlier because I had to go out into the cold to shovel the walks for my daycare parents.
So, I tried to fool my mind, I stretched a little and told myself it was going to be a great day and how wonderful I felt and how I just couldn't wait to start the day. Well, LOL, let me tell you....my mind is SMARTER than that!!!!! Seriously, have you ever tried to fool yourself into thinking something's wonderful that really isn't. It doesn't work. Well, I guess if you're an idiot or some ditzy prozac taking trophy wife you may. But any smart person cannot fool their own minds into thinking that something dreadful is going to be Grrrrrreat!!!!!!!! Maybe that's why I never made any of my past relationships work...I mean, I tried, but when your boyfriend always has some lame excuse why he can't go out on Friday night and then accidentally leaves his cell phone off all evening, it's pretty hard to convince yourself that he's not cheating!! DUH!! God gave women a 6th sense about that kind of stuff...but that's a WHOLE other story!!!!

OH, but I do have to share this one with you....this was good.....(off topic, but just go with it...)
So I started talking to a guy I had dated on and off for the last couple years...never really liked him, not attracted to him at all, but he was really nice. So a couple weeks ago he calls and we talked for a while, then he started calling every day for the last couple weeks. Well, we sort of talked about maybe trying a dating relationship again, but I said I didn't know....not real interested, but...hey, what else do I have going on right now. Oh and I should tell you that there is something about this guy that my mom and I don't get...like there's something we don't trust about him, but can't really pinpoint what it is exactly. So...we talk every day last week and although we didn't really have set plans for last weekend, we kind of hinted around that we may do something together. Well...lol, he didn't call me Friday morning, so I figured we weren't doing anything Friday night, so I went ahead and went shopping and out to eat with my kids. Well, he called and left a message on my home phone around 8ish pm and said THIS..., (in a half way whispered voice)..." Hi Tonja, it's me, ****...I just wanted to let you know that something is wrong with my home phone, so don't call it tonight...if you call me, make sure to call my cell phone, don't call my home phone. I'm not sure what's wrong with it, but it's not working so make sure you don't call my home phone, but you can call my cell. Ok, thanks, bye."

You know, it's not that I didn't have the guts to call his home phone, cause I would have in a heartbeat!!! It's that I didn't give a crap! I listened to that message and thought to myself, "Ok ****, have fun with your floozie"...LOLOL
I mean do guys REALLY think we believe this crap? And are there really stupid women who actually fall for this kind of stuff??? PAAA LEAZE!!!!!!

Anyway, if you're interested, I haven't called him since. He did call me Saturday morning...FROM HIS HOME PHONE!!!!!!!! lol I didn't answer. He called again Sunday and I decided to be nice and answered. I kept it short and sweet. He asked why I didn't call him back Friday night and I told him because he had told me not to call him...then he made up some story about how when it rains sometimes his phone goes out and that people can call him, but he can't hear them...So, I said I noticed on my caller id that he had called from his home phone early Saturday morning and he said that the phone company had came out right away Saturday morning and fixed it....LOL ya right!!!! OH OH OH and THEN he said he had the receipt to prove it. HEY BUDDY.....YOU CAN'T PLAY A PLAYER!!!! I know all the tricks...cause they were either used on me, or I used them myself!!!!!! And I have found in my almost 33 yrs of life, that when men offer up TOO much information, without us asking question after question...they're lying!!!

Anyway...back to my real discussion...I'm just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired...SO, we're trying to make some changes. We only ate out once this week and that was last night because I had to go grocery shopping and it was snowing and the roads were getting icy and I was starving and we had a 20 minute ride back home, not including the time it takes to carry all the groceries in the house and then put them away....and if I would have waited and cooked something after that, it would have been 9:00 before we would have had dinner , then I would have had dishes to do and AMERICAN IDOL was on last night!!!!!!! But, we are going to try really hard the rest of the week!! We're taking baby steps ok!! Plus, I am researching organic and healthy foods online and with the help of some other bloggers...I will be happy to share what I find. I've already decided that I will NEVER drink milk again...here's a link as to why: www.milksucks.com Read that and tell me if you want a big nice glass of that nasty stuff now!! Especially the "Got...Pus" section. Ewww!! Not too mention all the nasty hormones!