February 27, 2006

Give Me Hope!

This is my new anti aging miracle. I "hope"!
I'm not sure I trust the name...."hope in a jar"...
I need something much more certain and concrete!
Hmmm, "concrete in a jar"...don't think so. Not a
good selling point - putting concrete on your face.

Speaking of things that AREN'T good selling points...
To Ackerman Associates and Kirby Vacuum Company:
It's not a great "selling point" to have your 21 yr old high school drop outs go door to door with your "free gifts" only to take them back. Here's my story...
It is 4:10 pm in the Clay Cottage and Miss. Tonja is getting her daycare kiddos snack when the doorbell rings. Thinking that it's A's father picking up a little early, I get "A" down from his booster seat and head for the door. I open it and there is a very young male species on my front porch to which I say..."Oh, it's not your daddy!" The young male species looks at me and asks if I'm the happy homeowner. I said "well, I don't know about the happy part." (small talk -ok)
So, he had a round tube of wipes that say "orange cleaner". He proceeds to hand this to me while saying that he is from Ackerman Associates and they want to give me this free gift so I will remember their name. I say "Thank you" (knowing there's a catch) and wait for the selling to begin. He says "Ok, do you remember our name?" to which I say "Yes, Ackerman Associates" His eyes get big and he says "WOW! Most people never remember." Umm, hello, you just told me 2 seconds ago. Although I must say I was pretty darn impressed with myself. I usually don't listen to people who are trying to sell me things. Anyhoo...he tells me that he is with a van of people and his van is competing with another van and that there is a girl out in his van that only needs to do ONE more demonstration of their wonderful Kirby vacuum cleaners and they will win. (Ok, for the record oh young one...I wasn't born yesterday, although you look like you may have been!) So I look at him and say "Right now?" and he says yes, they really need to get this done. So, I look at him and say "I'm sorry, but I run a daycare out of my home and we're just finishing snack, I still have preschool to finish up and I have parents coming and going from now until 5:00". He just looks at me and then looks at the "free gift" he just handed me. I said "Do you need these back?" He looks down with this half smile / half "I'm so sorry" look on his face and said "Ya, I'm going to need those back..." So I hand them back. He tells me to have a nice day and I shut the door. Hard. WHAT? Did they just hand me a free gift so that I would remember their name, then ask me their name, I REMEMBERED, and they just took it back?!
See, this is where my harmful good upbringing comes into play. I do the right thing first, by politely handing back the wipes, when really I should have chucked them across my front lawn and told him to go get them! GRRRRRRR!!! I have plans for this "Ackerman Associates"...I will write, I will email, I will call, I will complain, I did blog, I will send to all my email groups and everyone in my address book, I will warn everyone I see, and I WILL GET MY FREE WIPES BACK!!!!! Darn it!!!

I am going to Walmart tonight and buying a NO SOLICITING sign!!