November 2, 2006

Just Some Thoughts

Because I don't have a topic... this is what's rolling around in my brain right now.

-I do not like it when I'm downstairs and my kids are upstairs fighting and I have to hear doors open and shut continuously. Hate it! It gets on my nerves more than anything. grrrr

- I also do not like it when I have to send my kids to bed early and under bad circumstances. They've had dinner so I don't feel too bad for them, and they also had about 453 warnings that they better KNOCK IT OFF or they'd be going to bed early. THEY chose bed.

- Some lady in our paper wrote in and said how she would be voting next Tuesday and how important it is to vote this year because of the all day Kindergarten thing (she has 3 children and is FOR it)... she said, and I quote: "most parents work 9-5 jobs and can't come home and babysit"
WHAT?? Since when did having your children at home become babysitting? I swear I'd like this woman's number!

- There's another article in our paper today that talks about the bullying situation in our town's intermediate public school. It talks about a 6th grade girl who was being bullied so badly that she was on the brink of an emotional breakdown. To that the principal of the school said that "the bullying is just a minor problem". Hmm, MINOR huh? A girl is on the verge of a emotional breakdown and that's just a little minor problem? The girl refused to go back and thank God her parents didn't make her. She is now in a private school and hopefully isn't being bullied any more. (I'm so glad I homeschool!) The sad thing is, this issue seems to be one that is ongoing. It's ALWAYS a subject in our paper.

-On a good note... the kids at co-op were awesome again today!! I can honestly say I love teaching right now. I love the kids in the class and most likely will volunteer to teach that class again next semester.

- On a bad note... I didn't hear back from the lady that I had an interview with last night, so most likely that means that they aren't coming here. She said they would call tomorrow and bring by the deposit. Well, neither happened, so I'd say it's a no. Which means no extra money... which means I'm back to worrying about Christmas (or lack thereof) and bills and all that fun stuff.

And now that I have myself all depressed and thinking about what I'm NOT going to be able to get my kids for Christmas, I think I'll go upstairs, let them get up and read to them. I'm such a horrible mother! OH and thanks Chris... Thanks for being a good dad and for paying for and supporting your responsibilities. I know you can't right now because even though you're 34 .5 years old you still have the maturity of a 15 yr old and decided a while back that it would be fun to rob a woman at gunpoint in a Walmart parking lot (getting only $4 out of it -bet you feel dumb!) thus getting yourself time in the big house. Not that you were paying child support anyway... oh ya, and I heard from my lady at friend of the court that you got 45 days added on to your current sentence for not paying that support. You deserved 45 YEARS! Oh well, it's a nice Christmas present to me just to know that you'll be sharing your eggnog and Christmas day festivities in your jail cell with Bubba. I hope there's lot of mistletoe and I hope you took your chapstick! Loser.


Pack Rat said...

I take it "Chris" is your ex-husband. After reading some of your blog, I want you to know that I admire your perseverance in doing what's best for your children by homeschooling them as a single-mother, when it would likely be easier to simply stick them in the decrepit public school system. (Young adult who was homeschooled all twelve years of school, right here!!!)

And yet, at the risk of sounding preachy, I'd like to share a few verses from God's word. I wouldn't say anything at all about this, except you proudly describe yourself as a Christian--one who follows Christ, so I think you'll understand.

"If you forgive others the wrongs they have done to you, your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done." (Matthew 6:14-15, GDNT)

It's important that you forgive your ex-husband. Lest I sound "holier than thou", I know from first-hand experience how the reliving of how I've been hurt can consume me. Trying to forgive hurts like dying--because it IS dying...dying to self.

Forgiveness does not mean (as some people seem to think) telling yourself that how your ex has hurt you wasn't really wrong...because it WAS wrong...very wrong. And it doesn't necessarily mean changing your feelings toward him, because you and I have little control over our feelings. (Proof: On the count of three, I want you to HATE me. Ready? 1...2...3...HATE! Can't do it? It's because we lack direct control over how we feel).

Forgiveness does mean not continuing to bring up the offense to yourself or to others. And it means giving good in place of evil: "...if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. " (Romans 12:20-21, ESV) Now there's likely not much good you can give him right now that would be appropriate. But there is one thing you and I can always do for our offenders: Pray for them. "But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..." (Matt 5:44, ESV) Prayer is the one weapon I've found that combats the surges of bitterness I sometimes feel. I ask God to bless that person who wronged me as the Father sees fit, and that he or she will come to know Jesus as their savior. I likely haven't learned forgiveness perfectly yet, but replacing thoughts of bitterness with thoughts of prayer for my offender is a very strong start. And I hope you will discover this too. :)

On a more uplifting postscript...after I read Matt Redman's song on your blog, I went and purchased it from a few minutes later. His song really speaks to me...I'm slowly losing my mother to dementia, and having Job's attitude of "He gives and takes away, my heart will choose to say, blessed be the name of the Lord" is very hard right now; I don't want to lose her. Yet, I hope that "when the darkness closes in, Lord, still I will say...blessed be Your glorious name." Thanks for posting the lyrics to that song; they blessed me.

Praying for you (honest!)

"Pack Rat"

Happy Mom Tonja said...

(((Pack Rat)))
Thank you for such a nice comment.
And thanks for sharing scripture with me, I always enjoy it!

I have forgiven Chris, although I know at times it doesn't seem that I have. I left him over 10 years ago so I really don't have much feeling one way or the other about him anymore. I used to pray that God would send someone into his life that would lead him to Christ and that he would change his life completely, have a relationship with his kids and do the right thing. Well, that hasn't happened yet and although I will honestly say I do not pray for him that much, I still hope that he will get his life straightened out. Unfortunately he's been away from his children (who are almost 10 and 13) for too long to start over now. That's just life and I wouldn't at this point, let him back in their lives anyway. I couldn't trust him. I have to protect my kids.

I'm glad you liked the song. My grandfather has alzheimers and is getting progressively worse each day. It's so hard to watch. I'll be saying a prayer for you too, and I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this with your mom. It's such a sad thing to have to witness.

I'm here anytime you need a shoulder!

Pack Rat said...

Wow, you actualy read through my whole sermon! ;)

"That's just life and I wouldn't at this point, let him back in their lives anyway. I couldn't trust him. I have to protect my kids."

I felt something like that was your situation, and I'm inclined to agree with your view--likely praying for him is the only appropriate way you can "overcome evil with good" in your situation (and in mine, as those who have wronged me are out of my life as well).

"I'll be saying a prayer for you too, and I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this with your mom."

Thanks, that means a lot to me.

God bless,

"Pack Rat" (the One Who Can Never Throw Anything Away :)