March 27, 2007

Every 6 Months

or so, I go through this thing with a guy I've known for about 6 years. "Let's get married... let's have a baby...", and no, it's not me saying these things.

Well, he messaged me last night, I messaged back. Today he called. He called a lot. He also told me he has my birthday present... 2 carot diamond earrings. I said "Hmm, I bet my old engagement ring would look nice with those!", he said "It's in my safe, do you want it back?" Now, although it was an "engagement" ring, it was more of a promise ring because no actual popping of the question took place. But, we did talk about marriage at one point. And we've talked this way about every 6 months for about 6 years now. My mom told me today that one of these times I'm going to finally just give in.

What is wrong with me? This guy is awesome. He's got plenty of money and plenty of financial security. I would never have to work another day in my life and my kids would pretty much be set for life. He LOVES my kids. LOVES me. And he is the kind of person who is making arrangements now, so that his parents and his spouse's parents will never have to go to a nursing home. (I love that about him!) Family is extremely important to him and he's just overall a very nice guy.

I just turned 34 and he just turned 39, time is ticking for both of us as far as having babies is concerned. And we know that. He isn't afraid of committment or marriage. I am. Why? My parents are still together and will celebrate their 41st anniversary in June. I've seen plenty of marriages that are working and making it quite nicely. What is my thing with marriage.

And is it just him? I wonder. I've been engaged to 4 different men in my life and have never even picked out the dress. I didn't even marry my children's father for goodness sakes. (Two wrongs don't make a right!)

This is my question... am I the one with the issues here or is my heart telling me this guy is just not the one for me?


Anonymous said...

You had two babies with a guy and didn't even marry him, you live with your parents at age 34 (don't you think they would like to enjoy their later years together?, sure they probably tell you they love having you and the boys live with them, but, seriously!!!!) Girl, it's time to grow up and get a life!! I'm sorry, but hey, you've heard of "Tough Love", here it is!
Get your own place, get a job where your mother is not helping you and stand on your own two feet!!!You might actually like it!!

Happy Mom Tonja said...

Well, first off, since you posted anonymously you obviously have your own issues or you'd at least stand up for who you are and claim your opinion.

No, I did not marry my children's father and it's probably a good thing I didn't as he has never grown up and hasn't lived the most upstanding life. I'm happy my children didn't have to grow up with that kind of influence. What I did was not right, but thank goodness for God's grace and forgiveness! We've all sinned, some sins are just more visable and hard to hide than others.

I take marriage as a very serious commitment not only between a husband and wife, but also to God. That is not something I would do unless I was absolutely sure it was what I wanted and what the Lord wanted for me.

About my mom working with me, my mom needed a job. Why wouldn't I help her out and hire her to work for me? What's the difference if it's my mom working for me or someone else that I don't even know. Actually I am very lucky to have my mom here and so are my daycare children. It's wonderful to know that when I'm not here, the daycare kids are being well taken care of by someone I can trust. It's a very win/win situation for everyone involved. Would you want your child left with a total stranger?

My parents moved in with me, if it's a huge concern to you. It's a long story and one that I don't feel like repeating because we've moved on, we're stronger and God has taken care of us better than we probably deserve!

Maybe my family is different than yours as we truly enjoy being together. We get along well for the most part, of course we have our disagreements but who doesn't. I'm very proud of how we've handled everything we've been through and unless you know us personally, you probably wouldn't understand that.

This is not a permanent situation, I don't think we'll live together forever, but it's what we're doing right now for many reasons, mostly because of money, or the lack there of. If you feel strongly about me getting my own place, I'd be more than happy to let you help out financially! :o)

Thanks for your comment though, I just hope next time you'll have the guts to sign your name. It kind of makes you look like you can't "stand on your own two feet"!

Anonymous said...

You wanted comments, right?

Anonymous said...

I'd be more than happy to let you help out financially!

Yes, I'm sure you would, but actually I don't think you need help with finances with the purchases your family makes; i.e., computers, PSP, leather furniture. But, maybe that is why you all live together.

Good luck with your dilemma . . . .

Happy Mom Tonja said...

Whatever helps you feel better! lol

I'm not one of those crazy women who feel that my blog or other people in "blogland" really pertain to my REAL life... this is internet people!

I feel very secure with my real friends and family. Don't worry, a negative comment left anonymously on my blog is not going to cause me to lose any sleep. lol

Happy Mom Tonja said...

Yes, I'm sure you would, but actually I don't think you need help with finances with the purchases your family makes; i.e., computers, PSP, leather furniture. But, maybe that is why you all live together.

Good luck with your dilemma . . . .

LOLOLOL - Oh my goodness... whoever you are and I probably can guess... you really need to find something else to do with your time and stop worrying about what my family does or doesn't do. Wow, talk about bored AND ball-less!

Anonymous said...

And you should be watching those children you are paid to take care of. . . . . .

Happy Mom Tonja said...

I have one child today, and he's sleeping... it's 12:40 here.

Anything else?