March 29, 2006

Deadbeat Dads

I almost hate my children's father. I don't hate him, because I can't. And although I know the bible says to love and forgive him... I'm wondering if they take into account the maternal instincts God gave mothers!
Christopher Eric Hawkins is a deadbeat "dad". I cannot stand him and I wish nothing but the worst for him. For all the wrong reasons too! I hate him, because of selfish reasons, all circling around $money$! I want his money. I don't hate him because he hasn't spent time with his children or because we're no longer together (I left him!), I hate him because I want the child support that he owes me... (which by the way, now equals to well over $8,000.00 and that DOESN'T include back support that I'm too tired to even try and figure out.)
I should explain why I am happy he's never spent any time with his kids...because he's not fit to raise or be a role model to any child, let alone MINE. Should I have thought about that before...Yes. Am I glad I didn't...of course!! I wouldn't trade my kids for the world and in all honesty, I should be the one paying for such a wonderful gift!
He had the option at the end of last year to start paying or sit in jail. He paid two checks which were a little over $300. He ended up in jail anyway on another charge, but was let out early because some other inmate brought a contagious rash into the jail. (nice)
So, April 3. he has another court date. If he hasn't continued to pay support, he'll go to jail for no less than 180 days. He hasn't paid jack since he was released and it is now March. 29. So, on April 3., sometime in the afternoon, I will call the Livingston County jail and ask if they have an inmate by the name of Christopher Hawkins. Will I be happy if they say "Yes"? No. I don't want him in jail. I want him out and working, paying what he owes me, and leading a productive life. I want him to try for his kids. I want his kids to matter enough that he wants to work his fingers to the bone to help support them. I don't understand how he can have children he never talks to, or calls, or writes, or visits...that is something that I will never be able to understand in my lifetime.
I only hope to do better with my children. I only hope to teach them everything I can about love and responsibility. I only hope that in this whole unfair process, they have learned something too and that they will be better men because of it.
I almost feel sorry for him, because somewhere along the way, someone must not have loved him enough. That's sad. But it's not an excuse!

1 Comment:

Anonymous said...

Amen Siter!!