April 17, 2007

The Post In Which I...

Have everyone shaking their heads and saying "Dang girl, quit whining!"

I am going to whine. Actually I'm going to whine alot so if you have a problem with that, you may want to visit some rather un-whiny blogs to your left. (Chloe and Andy's blog is pretty good. I mean, what do they have to whine about?)

Here I go... I have had no sleep for days now. I'm very late. (And no, I'm not pregnant!) I'm grouchy. I have had PMS for about 2 weeks straight and I've contained it quite well. I'm not sure how much longer that's going to last. I feel like I'm getting the stomach flu. And, I'm almost to that point where "better days" are unimaginable. Seriously. You know that point... where you or someone else in your household has been sick for so long you're ready to scream. Please don't get me wrong... the people in my house who are sick are much worse off than I am, I know this. However, when you're up all night right along with them, but still have to get up early while they stay in bed all day, it's a little draining. Rest is good and is probably the best thing these people can do right now, but still... it makes you a little jealous! And very tired.

For about the 6th night in a row now I've been up practically the whole night either listening to my mom cough and choke herself to the brink of passing out and then waiting to make sure she's still breathing, or I've been up with T2 who although has be diagnosed with "activity induced" asthma continues to have his coughing/wheezing attacks in the middle of the night and then again in the wee hours of the morning. Hmm, what the heck is he doing exactly while he's sleeping? What kind of activity is going on there?

Anyway, again, I KNOW I'm the lucky one who (so far) is healthy... but I'm TIRED!!!!!!!! I am not good without sleep. I never have been. It's me and it's the way my body works. No sleep = declined health. (Both physical and mental!!) When I was little and my parents would let me stay up for New Years Eve, I'd be puking by 12:05. I just can't do it, I need my sleep and I like my sleep. I do not know how I ever managed when my kids were little. I must have been running on some major oblivious new mommy hormones or something.

So, until my mom gets better, I'm doing the daycare alone, which means that from 7:30am -5:30pm I am busy, can't leave the house, can't get out. This makes taking my mom back to her doctor and T2 to his doctor very hard. The poor boy was saying this to me at 4:30 this morning: "Mom, I thought you said you were going to take me to the doctor? I need to go to the doctor! I'm taking two puffs and I'm still wheezing! When are you going to take me to the doctor, mom?" I haven't felt so unworthy of being a mom in a long time.

My mom really needs to go back to her doctor and she needs a chest x-ray. She also needs something that will help her sleep at night as the cough suppressant with codeine is NOT working. But... she can't drive right now, I have to work all week, and my dad doesn't have a day off this week until Sunday. Oy!

So, we're back to square one. How is my son going to get to the doctor? How is my mom going to get to the doctor? How am I going to survive the week? Why can't I have a normal job where I can just call in and get the day off? I'm sure God will work it out, but it's hard to deal with at the moment.

And I know there are more important issues going on in the world. And I know you're sitting there judging me. Well, it's your own fault, I told you to leave at the beginning of this post. {smile}